Humans are natural meaning-makers. We see someone give us a funny look in a meeting, and we assume they're mad or irritated with us when, in reality, they are just about to sneeze. We get passed over for a promotion again, and suddenly our self-esteem plummets. We convince ourselves that we’re not good at our job or not "qualified." Our friend hasn't called us back for days, and we think, "Is she mad at me?" But she's just busy and forgot. Yet, in the gap between our mind’s made-up story and our heart dropping, we spiral into despair for NO REASON.
We’re operating below the line.
Here's a little secret: OUR MIND IS A LIAR.
This happened to me today. I recently started a Meditation Walk on Wednesday mornings here in Boulder (7:30 at Chautauqua if anyone wants to join! Message me). I arrived at 7:25, having sent out invitations and posted on social media. By 7:35, the only participant was…me. I started to spiral with thoughts like:
No one likes me (a dramatic go-to, I know!)
They think this is dumb.
They don’t get it
They don’t think it’s worth the time
“Is she asking for money for a walk?!? How greedy!”
Who does she think she is teaching meditation?
Then the kicker: “Maybe I should give up.” But because I’ve been meditating and am more self-aware than ever, this whole scenario lasted about 4 minutes before I realized I was a
Meaning-Maker Machine.
It's so subtle and fast, but our emotions jump right in with the thoughts, and we start feeling upset and bad—usually about ourselves. I noticed a tightness in my chest and felt down until I caught the lies. I was making meaning where there was none.
And here’s the thing—sometimes, subtleties are real. Many of us, especially women, are intuitive and pick up on genuine subtle energies. But we have to slow down and check out the reality of what's actually occurring to get to the truth.
We love to draw lines from one thing to the next. We make meaning where others see none. I know many of you can relate to this. Many of my clients learn tools to slow themselves down so they don’t jump to conclusions but instead check out the truth of the situation first. We make up stories to explain why certain events happen in our lives all...the...time. The human brain doesn’t like uncertainty; it makes us feel unsafe. So when our brain can come up with an answer for why something ‘is as it is’ or why something ‘happened the way it did,’ we feel reassured—even if the answer isn’t true! The stories we make up usually don’t serve us and can be harmful to us getting to the truth. However, when we become aware of our meaning-making, we gain tremendous insight into ourselves and our limiting beliefs.
Comments