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Suffering is Not an Obligation

That’s what my coach said to me when I told him how hard I was working. It stopped me in my tracks. What? I thought working harder equaled results. That’s how I was raised, and it’s how I’ve always operated in the world.


“No, Bronwyn, it’s not true,” he told me, and he wasn’t messing around.


Those words flipped my world upside down. It felt like he had spoken directly to my core (and yes, with a French accent, which added a certain flair!). I don’t want you to live decades under this false belief like I did.


For most of my life, I believed that success came from hard work and relentless effort. And for many years, it seemed to work. I climbed the corporate ladder to VP, won trail races as a sponsored runner, and earned multiple six-figure incomes. But it came at a cost—blood, sweat, and tears.


What I realized after my coach’s words was that I was the one creating my own suffering. The only one judging your life is YOU. If your perception is that success must be hard, you’ll make it hard.


Ouch.


Over the last 20+ years of striving to be the best version of myself, I’ve broken through many patterns that held me back. This one, however, was a blind spot I hadn’t even noticed—a veil of illusion that kept me trapped. I’m grateful someone had the courage to pull it back for me.


The good news? Shifting your perception is simple, though not always easy. But it works. I had to let go of some old beliefs and take a leap of faith:


  • Life is hard—gone.

  • I have to do it all myself—tossed.

  • “No pain, no gain”—my favorite 80s motto—OUT. 

  • No effort, no result—bye-bye.



These ideas had promised rewards through hard and painful work, but I beg to differ. Now that I’ve embraced a simpler, more aligned approach and seen it work, I say ditch the BS.


Here’s what I’ve gained:


  • The same level of success.

  • Less stress.

  • A deep sense of joy and peace.

  • Presence in the moment.

  • The ability to love life as it is right now.


You have the power to create the life you want, and you are deeply loved.


How Do You Know When You’re in a State of Suffering?


When you’re suffering, you’ll find yourself trying too hard, putting in extra effort, and being tough on yourself. There’s a constant need to “get” somewhere.


The good news is that recognizing this resistance is the first step on your path. The challenge is that once you become aware, you start seeing it everywhere—I sure did for a while. Then came the realization.


I had spent much of my life under the false belief that I needed to reach some elusive point, to work hard, to suffer. I was constantly seeking, surviving, but not truly living.

But here’s the trick: there’s no “point” to get to. Chaos and suffering don’t lead to harmony and happiness, which we ultimately seek. A simple shift in mindset, a decision, can get you there now.


Let me know if this resonates with you. I have walked the path and can help.




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