We often let our minds pull us along, much like a dog on a chain. Our minds create narratives that don’t always serve our highest good or align with the lives we wish to live. These thoughts can spiral into overwhelming emotions.
Take, for example, a client I recently worked with. She struggled with burnout, feeling like she wasn’t showing up as the leader she wanted to be. She described a sense of her inner light dimming and a constant inability to say "no," leaving her burning the candle at both ends. She contacted me, hoping I could help her navigate this soul-searching journey. She felt lost, and in many ways, she was.
Her emotional rollercoaster made her feel like she wasn’t enough—she wasn’t doing enough, supporting enough, or being attentive enough. This imbalance was spilling over into her family life, something she desperately wanted to avoid.
As we delved deeper, I listened compassionately and noticed some clues in her story. There were narratives she had created that simply weren’t true. I gently poked holes in these stories and asked her some deeper questions. Thankfully, she was willing to get vulnerable and honest with herself. She realized that she had built up a narrative in her mind: if she didn’t work triple time, her team was at risk of being laid off. This self-imposed pressure was taking a toll on her body and soul.
Once she brought these false beliefs into the light, she was able to make some simple, though not easy, decisions to turn things around. She knew she had the inner strength to make these changes, even though it required some digging to unearth. She recalled how she had quit smoking years before with a single night’s decision. Recognizing this inner power, her confidence began to grow.
All of this happened in just one session. It was truly life-changing.
She understood that she could ride the emotional waves of life—its highs and lows—by observing them without being carried away. This was a realization I’ve come to myself. There was a time when emotions and negative thoughts would consume me, but it wasn’t until I became an observer of these thoughts and feelings that I learned how to reduce the power they held over me. By recognizing our habitual thought patterns—those ingrained beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I need to work harder”—we can start to dismantle them. Corporate America loves those beliefs because they keep us playing small, but they don’t serve our true selves.
I often use the analogy of the ocean and surfing because it beautifully captures the essence of finding balance in life. As surfers ride the waves, we can learn to navigate our emotions and thoughts, finding balance much like the Buddhist concept of the middle way.
*A whale photobombed Costa Rica’s Brisa Hennessy
(our friend's daughter) during the Women’s Surfing
semi-finals at the Olympics - pure magic!
I encourage you to embrace the natural flow of life, to recognize the patterns in your mind, and to cultivate deeper awareness. In doing so, you’ll find a happier, more balanced life. It truly works!
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